FastFoodSnob.com

Price: $0.99; paid - $0.00

Promotion: Subway Get Smart sweepstakes, instant-win game

Location: 6843 N. Lincoln Ave., Lincolnwood, IL 60712 (map); phone: (847) 329-8134

Rating: 3 out of 5 - acceptable

I like entering online contests, but some sweepstakes are clearly more giving than others. I was lucky to win more bags of these Flat Earth Baked Veggie Crisps from Frito-Lay than I knew what to do with (thanks, CAG), and the winning e-mails just began to form daily in my inbox like the evening dew. It had been a while since I’d stepped foot in a local Subway sandwich shop, but I knew I was in for trouble when the person working there had never seen my winning redemption e-mail before. Fortunately, the deeper inspections, personal-information taking, and management consultations would come after this initial trip, freeing me to enjoy some free veggie crisps after a brief and relatively pleasant round of counter confusion.

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Price: $4.49; paid - $2.50 per

Promotion: coupon; buy 1, get 1 free (only discounted $3.99)

Location: 3141 S. Ashland Ave., Chicago, IL 60608 (map); phone: (773) 254-9124

Rating: 3 out of 5 - acceptable

Eaten: 4 blocks away

There have been times when I’ve felt obligated to try something new, whether prompted by lowly poster or towering billboard. And then there have been those times when I was lured to sample something I wouldn’t otherwise by mysteriously procured coupon or limited-time offer. But it’s rare when my takeout proclivities are pushed over the edge by a popular webcomic. As much as possible, I prefer that my destination dining not be swayed by the musings of colorful characters (whatever the medium), but it’s hard not to feel compelled when a new menu item’s ominously referred to as “a kind of epitaph for my nation.” [The comic... for your perusal.] How could I not feel the call of duty to report on this beast myself?

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Price: $1.69; paid - $0.00

Promotion: free with “Matt’s Monday” Arby’s Racing deal

Location: 3931 N. Harlem Ave., Chicago, IL 60634 (map)

Rating: 3 out of 5 - acceptable

You know the main attractions on Arby’s menu have traditionally been its roast-beef sandwiches, but it can be quite helpful to have attractive sideshows as well (to eke out a little extra profit margin on a full-sized order). While Arby’s apparently has a limited supply of homestyle fries and “potato cakes” at participating locations, the form of fried potato most often associated with the chain (at least for me) has been the Curly Fry. It is described as follows on the Arby’s web site: “Perfectly seasoned ringlets, fried to a golden brown and served hot make these the perfect side item to any meal.” Perfect might not be the right word to lavish on these fried ringlets, but maybe I’ve just been missing something up till now.

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Price: $2.49; paid - $1.39

Promotion: free with leap-year drink-purchase deal

Availability: breakfast hours

Location: 6740 N. Clark St., Chicago, IL 60626 (map); phone: (773) 743-6932

Rating: 4 out of 5 - good

You might have already read about the promo used on this morning menu item (linked up top), but here’s what McDonald’s says goes into its relatively new, more-premium breakfast-wrap option: “savory sausage, scrambled eggs, melted cheese[s], skillet potatoes, bell peppers & onions, authentic fire-roasted salsa, and a warm tortilla.” How authentic any of this is is not my main concern; I just want to know how to rate what you get for the money. It certainly is worth considering in the morning but doesn’t jump out at you with its $2.49 regular price tag. (See below for more of “the inside stuff.”)

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