FastFoodSnob.com

Price: $0.89

Availability: participating Bells

Location: 3511 W. Devon Ave., Chicago, IL 60659 (map); phone: (773) 588-9712

Rating: 3 out of 5 - acceptable

New menu items can obviously be hit-or-miss affairs, but Taco Bell’s additions have been surprisingly more pleasant than they seem to have any right to be. And while the Triple Layer Nachos didn’t stick to their Value Menu pricing as well as their Cheesy Double Beef sibling at my particular location (they’re listed at 79 cents online, though the web site does warn that prices and items may vary), the meatless combination of “nacho chips, covered in simmering red sauce, hearty beans and nacho cheese sauce” remained quite palatable — and under a dollar (even with tax).

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Price: $0.99; paid - $0.00

Promotion: Subway Get Smart sweepstakes, instant-win game

Location: 6843 N. Lincoln Ave., Lincolnwood, IL 60712 (map); phone: (847) 329-8134

Rating: 3 out of 5 - acceptable

I like entering online contests, but some sweepstakes are clearly more giving than others. I was lucky to win more bags of these Flat Earth Baked Veggie Crisps from Frito-Lay than I knew what to do with (thanks, CAG), and the winning e-mails just began to form daily in my inbox like the evening dew. It had been a while since I’d stepped foot in a local Subway sandwich shop, but I knew I was in for trouble when the person working there had never seen my winning redemption e-mail before. Fortunately, the deeper inspections, personal-information taking, and management consultations would come after this initial trip, freeing me to enjoy some free veggie crisps after a brief and relatively pleasant round of counter confusion.

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Price: $0.89

Availability: participating Bells

Location: 3511 W. Devon Ave., Chicago, IL 60659 (map); phone: (773) 588-9712

Rating: 3 out of 5 - acceptable

It’s interesting that when I finally got around to reviewing something from Taco Bell, there’s a new salmonella scare surrounding raw tomatoes that’s got chains around the country pulling fresh tomatoes off their menus. Taco Bell is, of course, not immune to the dangers of bad marketing (nor unfeeling as to its customers’ health), so it was fortuitous that I already wanted to check out a menu item that included no diced tomatoes whatsoever. (The additional Fire Sauce I sprinkled on later presumably uses fully cooked tomatoes in its formula.)

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Price: $1.89; paid - $1.39

Promotion: free chicken with drink-purchase deal

Availability: breakfast hours

Location: 6900 N. Western, Chicago, IL 60645 (map); phone: (773) 274-6151

Rating: 3 out of 5 - acceptable

My nearly all-McDonald’s day started off with a late breakfast of fountain drinks and a new breakfast offering called the Southern Style Chicken Biscuit, whose main claim to fame is the inclusion of all-white meat in a biscuit bun. Didn’t really expect a lot going in to this combo promo, but the chicken wasn’t half bad. What annoyed me was how crumbly the biscuit halves holding the chicken were; the edges kept falling to pieces on me.

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Price: $4.49; paid - $2.50 per

Promotion: coupon; buy 1, get 1 free (only discounted $3.99)

Location: 3141 S. Ashland Ave., Chicago, IL 60608 (map); phone: (773) 254-9124

Rating: 3 out of 5 - acceptable

Eaten: 4 blocks away

There have been times when I’ve felt obligated to try something new, whether prompted by lowly poster or towering billboard. And then there have been those times when I was lured to sample something I wouldn’t otherwise by mysteriously procured coupon or limited-time offer. But it’s rare when my takeout proclivities are pushed over the edge by a popular webcomic. As much as possible, I prefer that my destination dining not be swayed by the musings of colorful characters (whatever the medium), but it’s hard not to feel compelled when a new menu item’s ominously referred to as “a kind of epitaph for my nation.” [The comic... for your perusal.] How could I not feel the call of duty to report on this beast myself?

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